Toughness….
Toughness
Growing up, we had a friend who could be provoked in the easiest of ways…. and he would ‘react’! If it was with extreme excitement on occasion, it was with anger and arguments on other occasions… and most ended up with him crying! The rest of us had fun!!!
When we had nothing better to do during our long summer holidays, this would be one avenue for killing time… It was guaranteed to give everyone about 2 may be 3 hours of viewing and participating pleasure…. Everyone in the group knew exactly what buttons had to be pressed for the steam to be set off!!!
He was reacting to deliberate, pre-meditated words and acts and his ‘reactions’ could be anticipated each time…. He was very predictable!
He was our ‘SLAVE’…. We had fun at his cost!
You might say “shame on the rest of us”…. I say “shame on him”… for giving in so easily!!!
To be successful, you MUST be tough… And toughness does not mean talking sternly or to look intimidating….
Toughness is being one hundred percent in control of your ‘reactions’!
Life is not easy… you will be thrown off-balance… you will be put in situations where you feel knocked off-center… unreasonable people throng its landscape… your work may be undervalued… you may feel insulted… you may see delays beyond your ability to tolerate….
All those friends that might have bullied you around in your childhood will now seem like angels… And honestly, they are!! They presented those little challenges in order to prepare you for what’s to come only in greater measure!
Stop being that vulnerable child….
Learn to stop reacting….
When you can be forced to react, you are in essence being lead down a course of someone else’s choosing… and losing control of your own composure and behavior to someone else is slavery!
To succeed, it must be you, that sets the course…. It must be you, that is in control….
Follow this three point formula to become tough….
1. In that tempting moment, learn to stay silent while being calm…. This applies to people and to life’s situations. This is not passive submission, rather, it is the deliberate choice of when you will respond (Vs react)
2. Being tough means that you never lose sight of where you want to go… in the immediate term, in the mid-term and in the long term…. Clarity brings forth inner strength and makes you tough. In that context, you know what behavior yields what results. You then choose your responses or actions… very different from reacting!
3. Being tough means being strong… being supremely confident… being gentle… being humble… being generous… being understanding… being honest… forgiving… accepting… resisting… being unyielding while being extremely reasonable!
Be Tough! Differentiate it from being ‘hard’. Things and people will start working in your favor… for, everyone including you knows, that you are in control… you are in charge!!!
