The “F—” word!
This is the most powerful word in almost all human interactions…. The one word that governs and determines how people respond to you….
Being “FAIR”!!!
The way we are built… we are mightily swayed by how much we feel respected…. If you feel like you are being treated fairly, you will more than likely comply… And should you feel like you are being taken advantage of… you would not mind lashing out regardless what the consequences… come that point, where you cannot take it anymore!
This is that feeling that either helps you sleep peacefully in the comfort of the thought that you are being cared of… valued… respected and wanted…. or, keeps you up all night… drenched in that uncomfortable froth enveloping your being… that makes you sick in your stomach with the repeated question you never seem to be able to answer nor stop asking… “how could he do that to me”???
Like with most other things… if it applies to you, it applies to him as well!!!
There are at least three ways you might find the “F—” bomb thrown….
1. “I just want what is ‘fair'”…. This implies that he does not feel like you are giving him a fair deal… Not generally a positive use for you as you are now to defend your position!
2. “I have given you a fair offer”…. And that is not a positive use towards you either, for you now have to control your emotions and resist ‘lashing out’ to be able to negotiate a fair settlement! One way to not yield while also not letting the other person ride all over you is to ask in response… “It seems like you have the evidence to support your claims”.
3. “I want you to feel like you are being treated fairly. Please stop me should you feel differently at any time”…. Now that’s a very positive use for the person is recognizing that there is a problem or feeling that he is expressing the intent of clearing and is opening doors for a dialogue.
Not withstanding any of these, it is but common in this complex environment of ours, that either you, or someone you are interacting with, feels this way now and then. Take charge of such a situation and with the complete intention of doing what is fair, initiate a conversation.
For one that is committed to fairness, negotiating a fair deal is but a factor of time…. That of course assumes, that firstly, you are being fair, or, that you have the ability to determine if the person you are negotiating with can ever be reasoned with…. If he cannot be, why are you even wasting your time?
Be fair to yourself, save yourself the trouble and move on… And if the stakes are too high and you simply cannot walk away or if the other person does not let you walk away, have the inner strength to settle it in your favor for he never deserved your kindness all along!
Through all of it, however, you must strive for a reputation of being fair. Let your conviction give you the courage to stand your ground as the superior person….
Remember! Your reputation precedes you. Let it precede you in a way that paves your success!
